Double meter 'saar'

AUTTOoooo! Bhayya Old Madras Road chaloge?

This is the thousandth time I am asking this question in the last half an hour- and the reactions from all the auto guys are akin (Almost)… An annoyed fleeting look- The kind that you would offer to someone who is trying to sneak a look at your private parts when you are peeing in a public loo or if you are the orthodox types, imagine the look that you would bid to someone who sneezes when you are just about to step out for some real important work.

I feel blameworthy for committing the offence and at the same time grateful that the merciful auto guy has forgiven me in spite of my inexcusable sin.

Finding an auto is not difficult in Bangalore, that they are many; the problem lies in convincing them to go to a particular place… or any place for that matter.

These guys are a sort of wandering souls, perennially on a long drive in solitude. I seriously think that this roaming around (all by themselves) has a purpose…that too a very important one…may be a kind of religious and a philosophical quest…similar to a ‘tapasya’ in Himalayas…trying to figure out answers to more meaningful questions pertaining to life, death & everything in between.

So it is obvious that these otherwise saintly guys get terribly upset if lesser mortals like us divert them from pursuits of critical nature. This is understandable and over the period I have reconciled with the fact that bothering these guys with silly things is nothing less than ‘Bad Karma’.

This is how a usual conversation takes place between us-

I (Aloud): Bhayya khalee hai?

Auto guy (Just by his looks): idiot, don’t you know that we are never ‘khalee’. God has sent us on earth with a special purpose…anyways it’s too much for you to understand all that kid. (With a smirk) I am letting you go this time but never ever do this again.


As I told you that I have learned to co-exist with this breed of lone travellers, but it is the other kind that bugs me the most and believe me its awfully hard to differentiate both.

On the outset, these guys (the second type) also look like holy explorers but have a slightly materialistic viewpoint on the worldly matters…and more importantly they are kind.

When you scream for help (Bhayyaaaa...)- they stop (How does matter even if they stop few yards away and you have to jog up to them? Remember God never comes to your doorstep when you are in trouble…he will wait for you at the neighbour’s place…and trick is…you have to reach him before the neighbour…hfff…hfff).

They even give you a patient hearing (either you explain the deal in two seconds or get lost…God only hears to the loud, quick and articulate) then… yes, it is then… that you see the most cunningly compassionate face in the world (Mogambo…Khush Hua).

While I wonder… if this is happening to me…that finally God is about to answer my prayers, I realise that God has meticulous terms and conditions for doing anything.

Especially if he is going out of the way to do something for you…he expects you to even please him in an out of the way manner.

Don’t worry…unlike what you thought…he is not abstract… Everything is quantifiable in his rule. “Double meter saar”. See how calculative he is (and so humble…he called me ‘saar’).

Dare ask him the explaination for the premium and you are enlightened about the imaginary traffic jam on the way (Through out the journey you would fear a nasty jam and you won’t even realise that you are home. On seeing your amazement god will just smile upon you. God never boasts).

But I didn’t know that we should never haggle with God. “Double nahi, 10 Rupees extra le lo sir”.

He gives you a 'go to hell' sort of look- and the God decides to go. I come back to senses and apologise for my ignorance. “ok theek hai”-I surrender to the greed...sorry...God.

God is merciful and I reach home today.

What is interesting is that I see these Gods everyday and everywhere. But every time I need them, I wish I could stop depending on them.

Whoever said religion is a form of corruption.